To control aggression without inflicting injury is the Art of Peace. — Morihei Ueshiba If mindful communication, powered by compassion doesn’t work… If trying to directly shift the conversation or interrupt the other person’s patterns doesn’t work… Then all you have left is to assert your boundaries. Unless you want to let them walk all over you… To draw the line, take charge of the situation and bring the interaction to a close. This is an act of self-compassion, and also of compassion for the other person – because allowing him/her to go on and on in that pattern is not going to bring him/her any growth. Here are some ways of closing (from softer to firmer): “Look, I feel our conversation is not progressing much at this point. Let’s just sleep on this issue and talk again another time.” “I have to stop you right there. It seems like you are having a tough day. I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for this right now.” “I don’t want to be engaged in this type of conversation anymore. So I’m logging out. Bye!” As you are bringing the interaction to a close, remember that you are taking charge. It’s just like when you take charge of your attention during meditation practice when it has wandered off into distractions. So be sure to express your decision with powerful body-language (straight, open, and forward) and a firm voice. Instead of throwing the ball back at them, you are throwing it out of the court, and walking away. For you, the game is over. Henceforth, you just try to avoid contact with that person, if possible. That is also asserting boundaries.
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